Think You Work Well With Others? Here’s a Gut Check.

March 9, 2022

Getting shit done is my love language. It’s how I show people I care and how I offer support. One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned, though, is that not everyone operates the same way.

A dear friend shared with me something their mentor had told them: “I didn’t realize you were the standard.” I think about that quote almost every day. It’s how I check myself to make sure I’m seeing people for who they are and not what I’ve projected onto them.

I share this because I’ve hurt myself and others by doing just that, assuming I’m the standard, and I want you to learn from my mistake. It’s ok to be who you are, but you can’t expect others to be cast in the same mold. We all show up in different ways. The best any of us can do is have the courage to be vulnerable.

So, be clear about your expectations. Ask yourself if they’re realistic and rooted in shared goals and values, not just your version of how you think things should be done. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable, and have those difficult conversations. Don’t let things fester. The reward that comes from the temporary discomfort of a candid, transparent conversation far outweighs the possibility of ruining a relationship or living with crushing resentment. Live your truth, of course, but also acknowledge and respect the truths of others. You and your relationships with others will be better for it.

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